General:
- Glory to God in the Highest (published: Tabor Voice, Nov-Dec 2002; Divine Light, Dec 2003)
- Living in the Will of God (published: Tabor Voice, Jan-Feb 2003)
- What we should do this Lent (published: The Examiner, March 2003)
- Lost your reputation? Rejoice! (published: Divine Light, July 2004)
- The Potter & His Clay - A Spiritual Analogy
- Death on an Easter Sunday
- How Jesus saved us from the fire next door
- God isn't deaf
- Get on a Barnabus trip
- A Year Older and a lot less Wise (Part 1 of the Birthday Trilogy)
- He sang to me (Part 2 of the Birthday Trilogy)
- The Value of Intercession (Part 3 of the Birthday Trilogy)
- Do you want a FREE GIFT that can never be taken from you?! (Dec 2003 / Jan 2004)
- Love is in the air... (February 2004)
- Was it worth it all? (March 2004)
- I Confess... (April 2004)
- The Beautiful Blessing of Christian Fellowship! (May 2004)
- Power Evangelize! (June 2004)
- 'Best Friends' till the end (July 2004)
- Family Matters (August 2004)
- Do you know WHY you believe? (September 2004)
- You're going to be let down (October 2004)
- Praying with the Holy Pope (November 2004)
- Hang in there (December 2004) (published: Divine Light, Jan 2005)
- Just like that. And you're gone (January 2005)
- The Divine Lover of My Soul (February 2005)
- Is it ever "too late" to do right? (March 2005)
- To Emmaus, or back again? The choice is yours! (April 2005) (published:Divine Truth, April 2007)
- Bear Much Fruit (May 2005) (published: Divine Light, July 2005)
- Holiness and the Heart of Love (June 2005)
- Spiritual Boot Camp (July 2005)
- Abundant Life! (August 2005)
- Unanswered Prayers? (September 2005)
- Trust in the Lord! (October 2005)
- Persevere! (December 2005)
- New Resolutions this New Year (January 2006)
- 'Having it All' = Having Jesus (February 2006)
- He Understands (April 2006)
- My Invisible Tattoo (September 2006)
- Cardinal Justin Rigali ~ "Glorify God in Your Body" (October 2006)
- A Fattened Calf for me (December 2006)
- How to come out of a Spiritual Downward Spiral - Part 1 (January 2007)
- Jesus is Alive. Need Proof? ( October 2007)
- Biblical Catholics (November 2007)
- Religion or Spirituality? (September 2008)
- Lessons from the strange race between the Tortoise and the Hare (October 2008)
- How to react when Spiritual Leaders fall / backslide: (November 2008)
April 2004
I Confess...
More than anything, I believe God is calling us to a heartfelt repentance.
I write this on Palm Sunday, the beginning of the holiest week of the year; a time when the Catholic Church promotes the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
I confess approx. once a month. Usually the people waiting for confession are negligible. Yesterday however was a different question. I reached St. Peter's Church (which is an adjacent parish to mine) at around 5.50pm. I stood in one of the long serpentine queue for 45 mins. There were at least ten such lines.
At one point the queue I was in seemed to be the slowest of the lot - the reason, a young boy (of maybe 18-20 years) who was at the confessional for at least 20 minutes.
An old lady in front of me began grumbling "Just what is he doing there, taking so long??" she asked me.
"If he was your grandson, wouldn't you be happy that he was making a long & good confession? Especially given the fact that so many young boys don't even come to Church these days?" I asked her back.
"If he was my grandson," she answered me, "I would ask him why on earth he waited till the last moment to confess all his sins."
Now, neither of us knew if that boy in question had been for confession even the week before & was just confessing a week's sins, but our conversation made me ponder upon certain things:
Just why was the lady in question getting all irritated? It surely had nothing to do with the boy himself. I'm sure she's a nice old lady who in any other circumstances would have been love itself. Then what caused all the irritation. Surely it was the waiting in queues (something I myself detest), especially since we all knew that confessions were up to a 6.45 pm only after which preparation for 7 pm Holy Mass would begin. All those who didn't make it, would have to come back the next day.
As things turned out neither of us got to make our confessions, even after the 45 minute wait. I turned to go home when I met a friend who told me that confessions in my parish were still going on as our Mass started only at 7.30 pm. So off I went to Mt. Carmel 's and again joined a queue (mercifully a much smaller one).
Just as my turn came, the priest, Fr. Victor, asked me if I didn't mind coming again for confession. "Melody, I know there's still time for Mass," he said "but I'd really like to start preparation a little more today because of the Passion reading."
It was now 7.10pm. My legs hurt (I had been walking & standing for what seemed like eternity) & more than that I so wanted to receive the sacrament. The previous Sunday I had not received Holy Communion & I so wanted to receive Jesus on Palm Sunday.
"Will you wait until after Mass then?" he asked me. "Sure Father." I said.
I proceeded to the Chapel where the Blessed Sacrament is exposed & prayed there. Then weirdly I began to feel faint & my back really started to pain. After sitting there till almost 8pm (Mass would end only by 8.30pm) I was ready burst into tears.
I wanted to leave & go home. How frustrating to have to wait for so long for something that should have been freely available to me. How annoying that I had to wait so long in the queue. And to be denied a second time! I was ready to just forget the whole deal.
And then it hit me. Perhaps due to my frequent confessions, I was used to the idea of going, getting cleansed, doing a meager Penance & coming out. Due to the abundance of His love & mercy Jesus had never made confession a difficult sacrament for me to receive.
Yet, I had abused that mercy. Without even realizing it, I wanted a quick fix. I was truly sorry wasn't I? Now forgive me & get it over with. Oh my Jesus! When I saw things from that point of view, I realized how little different I was from the old lady I had talked to a few hours earlier.
I took all the waiting as a bit of Penance for all my sins. Surely that was Nothing compared to what He did for me so that I could be saved? I also realized as I confessed to Fr. Victor (maybe starting at 8.45pm) that the reason I went to another parish was to avoid the priest whom I knew & who knew me thinking of me as anything but a holy girl. How unholy in itself that is..! Pride; the sin of Satan.
Jesus loved me enough to humble me to see the folly of my ways. I confessed a little extra yesterday. And when I was finished, I realized with extra pleasure, how great it was to receive the sacrament of Reconciliation with the Lord. Everything was brand new. And I was as white as snow.
I wish you all, reconciliation with the Lord & a very Happy & Blessed Easter to you & your families.
April 2004
